Below is a fictional blog post from “Consultant Goddess”. I hope this blog brings a little laughter to your day, but also drives home the point that there are things that will get you fired or on the "Do Not Call List”. And I don’t mean the Telemarketing Do Not Call List!
Hey Fellow Bloggers, coming to you live on DAY 1 of my new consulting gig at ACME Corporation. I was a little bit late this morning. Who knew traffic would be such a bear?! My new project manager seemed surprised and maybe a little annoyed that I was an hour late. Hope this isn’t a sign of things to come. Gotta go, I’m running late to meet my new project team. Hope they’re not a bunch of stiffs.
Coming to you live from my project meeting. Got a few stares from my “teammates” I guess because I was a little late for my first meeting. Lighten up, it’s not like I missed anything important, like say project deadlines. They were probably just introducing themselves to one another. Bye for now, I have to introduce myself to the team.
They’re still talking….NEED COFFEE!!
Are we ever going to get a break?!
Had lunch with my team. I took my own car so I could swing by the bank on my way back. Barely made it back in time for my next meeting. Gotta go.
Phew! Just survived the mother of all meetings! Discussed project details along with my responsibilities for this system implementation. Not exactly sure what the deadlines are for my deliverables. I guess someone will tell me. Supposed to talk with a couple of SMEs tomorrow. I better find that email with their names. Haven’t gotten to all my emails yet. This is a lot of work. Maybe they’ll let me work from home one or two days a week. That would be sweet.
Almost quitting time! By the way, I found the coffee. They actually make us pay for it! Thinking about discussing this with my project manager.
YABBA- DABBA-DO!!!...Survived Day one. See you tomorrow.
Checked my voicemails and had a message from the staffing firm telling me I won’t need to go back to ACME tomorrow (or ever again). Apparently I was supposed to turn in something before I left the office. Good thing I didn’t get around to scheduling those meetings with the SMEs. Tried calling the firm back, but no one has been returning my calls. That’s so typical!
Note: TrainingPros is thrilled to say that ConsultantGoddess is not part of our loyal talent pool. We carefully screen for this behavior potential, and we take great pride in our Onboarding for Success process that guards against poor performance and false starts. Thanks to all of our consultants who make our company shine every single day on the job!