Michele Carello | Guest Blogger

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Classic Consultant Don’ts

Classic Consultant Don’ts

Below is a fictional blog post from “Consultant Goddess”. I hope this blog brings a little laughter to your day, but also drives home the point that there are things that will get you fired or on the "Do Not Call List”. And I don’t mean the Telemarketing Do Not Call List!

Posted by: Consultant Goddess at Monday, May 18, 2015 at 9:37AM

Hey Fellow Bloggers, coming to you live on DAY 1 of my new consulting gig at ACME Corporation. I was a little bit late this morning. Who knew traffic would be such a bear?! My new project manager seemed surprised and maybe a little annoyed that I was an hour late. Hope this isn’t a sign of things to come. Gotta go, I’m running late to meet my new project team. Hope they’re not a bunch of stiffs.

Posted by: Consultant Goddess at Monday, May 18, 2015 at 10:14AM

Coming to you live from my project meeting. Got a few stares from my “teammates” I guess because I was a little late for my first meeting. Lighten up, it’s not like I missed anything important, like say project deadlines. They were probably just introducing themselves to one another. Bye for now, I have to introduce myself to the team.

Posted by: Consultant Goddess at Monday, May 18, 2015 at 10:47AM

They’re still talking….NEED COFFEE!!

Posted by: Consultant Goddess at Monday, May 18, 2015 at 10:53 AM

Are we ever going to get a break?!

Posted by: Consultant Goddess at Monday, May 18, 2015 at 1:20PM

Had lunch with my team. I took my own car so I could swing by the bank on my way back. Barely made it back in time for my next meeting. Gotta go.

Posted by: Consultant Goddess at Monday, May 18, 2015 at 4:05PM

Phew! Just survived the mother of all meetings! Discussed project details along with my responsibilities for this system implementation. Not exactly sure what the deadlines are for my deliverables. I guess someone will tell me. Supposed to talk with a couple of SMEs tomorrow. I better find that email with their names. Haven’t gotten to all my emails yet. This is a lot of work. Maybe they’ll let me work from home one or two days a week. That would be sweet.

Posted by: Consultant Goddess at Monday, May 18, 2015 at 4:45PM

Almost quitting time! By the way, I found the coffee. They actually make us pay for it! Thinking about discussing this with my project manager.

Posted by: Consultant Goddess at Monday, May 18, 2015 at 4:59PM

YABBA- DABBA-DO!!!...Survived Day one. See you tomorrow.

Posted by: Consultant Goddess at Monday, May 18, 2015 at 7:10PM

Checked my voicemails and had a message from the staffing firm telling me I won’t need to go back to ACME tomorrow (or ever again). Apparently I was supposed to turn in something before I left the office. Good thing I didn’t get around to scheduling those meetings with the SMEs. Tried calling the firm back, but no one has been returning my calls. That’s so typical!

Note: TrainingPros is thrilled to say that ConsultantGoddess is not part of our loyal talent pool. We carefully screen for this behavior potential, and we take great pride in our Onboarding for Success process that guards against poor performance and false starts. Thanks to all of our consultants who make our company shine every single day on the job!

in Talent Management Read: 1892 2 Comments
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TrainingPros Director of Recruiting, Michele Carello supports Relationship Managers in finding the best learning and development talent throughout the country. Michele has a strong background in recruiting and sourcing talent in the Training, Informational Technology, Sales and Finance industries.

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Comments

  • Guest
    Steve K Wednesday, 12 August 2015

    Yikes

    Let's hope we don't have these types of consultants.

  • Guest
    Joanne Deitsch Thursday, 28 May 2015

    Thanks for the laugh!

    The Consulting Goddess did so many things wrong, I was surprised she even had the initiative to land the job in the first place! It must not have interfered with her nail appointment :) Thanks, Michelle!

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